


Just Let Me

by JamesAeza



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Autistic Logic | Logan Sanders, Camping, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Human Sides (Sanders Sides), Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Secrets, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:55:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24534184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JamesAeza/pseuds/JamesAeza
Summary: I've Never Told Anyone This Before gets exciting when they've all got big secrets.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Everyone & Everyone
Comments: 18
Kudos: 176





	Just Let Me

There was only one other person in the whole world who knew Roman’s secret.

Remus used to share the secret. He didn’t anymore. He had made sure of that. Roman had never asked what he’d used or where he’d gotten it. 

He’d asked if it had hurt.

“Like you couldn’t imagine,” Remus had answered. “But it was worth it.”

Roman sometimes wished he had the courage to do the same. But he couldn’t bear to part with them. 

His wings, that was. Huge, brown muscular wings. He could pull them into his back to hide them. It made them achy and hard to control. 

Remus had hacked his off at the age of seven. He claimed that to this day that he had no regrets.

His back would never be normal, per se. There would always be the two huge scars. He would never be able to be fully free of the pain. But he was normal enough, as he put it. 

Which Roman still wasn’t. 

He’d thought about sharing the secret with his amazing adoptive parents. Once, he’d even sat them down and told them there was something important they should know. He had ended up chickening out and telling them he liked boys, which he already knew they’d accept. There was just a nagging fear that they wouldn’t be able to handle it. 

Neither of them knew why things were this way. Just that they always had been. 

He had only used them once. He was too scared of being detected to try again, but the memory was one he treasured. 

He’d always been so careful to keep it a secret. And now he was about to throw all that away, and Remus was not having it. 

“I know you love them, I love them too, but you can’t just tell all four of them! Do you have any idea what could happen if this got leaked?”

“Yes, of course! Do  _ you  _ think I haven’t weighed the risks? They’re the best friends I could ever hope for, they’d never throw me under the bus like that.”

“Oh Roman,” Remus sighed, “you trust too easily. You always zero out the best-case scenario, and that’s something great about you, but sometimes I need to pull you back into reality.”

“I am living in reality! You clearly don’t understand how wonderful they are, how much they care for us.”

“The stakes are just too high.”

“Look Remus. I’m telling them this weekend on the camping trip. Don’t like it, don’t come. I won’t involve you.”

Remus sighed. “There’s really nothing I can say to make you understand, is there?”

“Nope!” 

“In that case, I’m coming. Then I can help if it all goes to shit.”

“That’s what I thought. Besides, I know you want to see Logan.”

“What? Do not!” Despite his defiant tone, Roman could see the tips of his ears turn pink.

“Do too.”

“Do not.”

  
  


Friday afternoon seemed to sneak up on them. Virgil had offered to drive them all to the site after school, seeing as the only person he trusted behind the wheel was himself. The place they’d be staying was very remote. They’d be the only humans for miles. 

Remus was still trying to convince Roman that it was a bad choice as they climbed into the back of the car, and Roman was adamantly ignoring him.

“Fine. Ruin both of our lives. See if I care.”

“Who’s ruining whose life?” Virgil asked with a grin.

“Rem thinks I am. He just doesn’t  _ understand  _ me.” He sighed dramatically before winking casually at Virgil, flustering him. “You should try sometime, though. I’m certainly… a unique ride.” 

Virgil flushed bright pink.

“Roman. He’s fucking shit up like always.”

“Hey, watch it. Patton will be here any second,” Logan warned, climbing in.

“What about me?”

“Nothing,” Logan and Virgil were both quick to reassure, Logan shooting a glance at Remus. 

Virgil turned around, surveilling his friends. “Are we all set? Where’s Janus? He’s usually the early one.”

“Not sure, I saw him around earlier though,” Patton observed. 

“Does someone wanna call him?”

“Sure,” Roman offered, opening his cell and finding the contact. He picked up on the fourth ring.

“We’re all waiting, J. Where are you?”

“Oh.” He heard him cough a little on the other side of the line. “I… I am sorry. I can be there in… five minutes?”

“Sure.”

Janus hung up.

“Something’s weird.”

Patton shook his head. “There is something, but he wants to keep it private. He’s okay though.”

“How did  _ you  _ know that?” Logan questioned. 

“I know things.”

Roman just shrugged, nervous for what he planned to do tonight and unable to focus on much else. 

After a few minutes, Janus showed up and swung himself into the passenger seat, favoring his left leg. Virgil gave him a look, but didn’t press. 

“Okay, are we all ready?”

Everyone offered noises of agreement and they were off. 

  
  


“Do you two actually know how to pitch a tent?” Logan’s forehead was in his hand as he watched Roman and Patton struggle with the poles. 

“Well do you, Mr… smarty pants?”

Logan raised his eyebrows at the lack of creativity in the name. Roman had come up with much worse in the past. Before they’d become friends. But there was no need to dwell on past events. 

He also always seemed to be able to come up with very sweet things to call Virgil.

“Yes.” 

“Well then, do it!”

“Okay.” Taking the two pieces of pole from Roman and Patton, he stuck them together and started feeding it into the fabric. 

“Patton, hold that part up.”

“Roman, please hand me that pole.”

Before too much longer had passed, the tent was successfully pitched and Logan was hammering in the stakes, Remus trying to be subtle about the fact that he was admiring him as he did it. He was anything but subtle, though, and everyone seemed to see right through him besides Logan, who could be a bit… socially inept. 

Patton suddenly smiled. “Do you guys want to play a game?” 

There was a general consensus that a game was a good idea. 

“What’s the game?” Virgil asked. 

“I’ve never told anyone this before. It can be silly or serious, but you gotta tell us something you’ve never told anyone before.”

“Sure. Who wants to start?”

Patton shrugged. “I’ll go, since it was my idea. Hm, let me think… Oh! I failed Algebra freshman year. I retook it over the summer and pulled my grade up to an A.”

Logan shook his head. “How irresponsible,” he observed. Coming from anyone else Patton would have been offended, but this was just how Logan interacted. They were all used to him and knew what he was really thinking. 

Patton chuckled. “I know. Alrighty, who’s next?”

Logan shrugged. “I’m sure this was relatively apparent already, but I am on the autism spectrum. At its core, it just means my brain works a little differently than the norm. That’s why I seem so… weird sometimes.”

“Aww Logie, we love you just the way you are!” Remus grinned at him. 

Logan rolled his eyes, but they could see a smile tugging at his lips. 

Virgil picked up shortly after that. “Okay, here’s one of mine. I have an anxiety disorder called paranoia and I’m on meds for it. Which I’m going to go ahead and say is a surprise to no one.”

Logan nodded. “You do seem on edge much of the time.” Virgil nodded, playing with his hoodie strings. “Okay, Rem? You wanna go?”

Remus nodded. “Mine’s a little more serious, but here goes. I’ve cut myself before, and I still fall back into it sometimes. Hard habit to break.” He followed that up with his regular big grin, but they could see the truth lingering in his eyes. 

“Aww, kiddo.” Patton took his hand, squeezing it. “We’ll always be here for you. You know that, right?” That was followed by sounds of agreement from everyone else. 

Remus squeezed back a little. “Yeah. Thanks guys.” Then he shook off the wistful aura. “Okay, J. I think you’re up.”

Janus nodded. “Alright, if we’re spilling secrets, I’ve got this one. I’m not going to go into detail because I don’t want to, but this scar?” He gestured towards the burn marks that covered half his face. “You guys are way too nice for your own good and you didn’t ask about it. I let you think it happened in an accident, but it didn’t. That’s all I want to say for now.”

They all nodded, gently comforting him. Logan looked supremely uncomfortable at all the emotionally charged confessions. 

After a silent moment, Patton turned to Roman. “Looks like you’re last.”

Roman glanced over at Remus, catching his eye. They stared at each other for a moment in silent communication before Remus ripped away the eye contact. “Do what you want. Like I can stop you.”

Roman sighed. “Okay. I’m gonna show you guys this one.” The others looked confused as he removed his hoodie and t-shirt. Remus just looked resigned at that point. 

“Can you all promise to not freak out? And to keep this secret?”

He waited until he’d received confirmation from everyone. He then slowly unfurled his wings, sighing in relief as he finally stretched out. Eyes closed, he beat them once or twice. Then he slowly opened his eyes up. They looked, as expected, very, very shocked.

Logan was the first to speak. “That… should not… be possible.”

Remus just shrugged. “It shouldn’t, should it?”

Janus looked incredulously at Remus. “You too?”

“Used to. Cut ‘em off.”

Logan immediately turned to him. “That sounds incredibly dangerous and painful!”

He knew Logan well, and knew that was concern coming from him. “It was.”

Logan, seemingly unsure, gingerly placed his hand on Remus’s shoulder. Remus immediately placed his on top of Logan’s, a silent message that it was okay. Logan breathed a sigh of relief, which made Remus’s heart break for him, just a little. He couldn’t imagine living in a world where he had no idea what was the correct thing to do, had no clue what someone else might be thinking. 

He wanted to destroy anyone who had ever made Logan feel stupid for the way he functioned. 

Virgil was staring at Roman wide eyed. Yes, he knew that the first thought in his head  _ should  _ have been ‘That’s impossible’ or ‘that’s weird’ or  _ something,  _ but for some reason it had been ‘holy shit that’s hot’.

Roman shook his head. “I understand if I’m too weird for you guys. I don’t know why we were born like this, I don’t have any leads on bio parents. I just know that I’ve always had these. And Remus had his until…”

Remus finished for him. “Until I chopped them off. Don’t regret it. Never have, never will.”

After Virgil managed to gather his wits, he asked the big question. “Do they work?”

“Yes, but I’ve only ever used them once. I might be seen and that could be very bad.”

Virgil shrugged. “Well, we’re out in the middle of nowhere, so no pressure but if you want to give it a go, you could.”

Roman froze at that. He really could. He could actually fly right now if he wanted to. He knew he could. It was ingrained into him. 

And he knew exactly how heavy his load could be. 

And he knew exactly what Virgil weighed. He was really, really light.

“Only if you’ll come with, emo nightmare.”

“I… what?”

Roman walked up to him, cautious of his wingspan, and wrapped his arms around the other boy’s waist. “Come with. Please.”

“I... I don’t… okay.” He was almost shocked at himself for saying that. 

Before he could think too hard on it, though, he was being scooped up by Roman, who after a few running steps, took towards the glistening stars decorating the night sky. 

Remus and Logan watched him go, but when they brought their attention back down, they were alone. 

“Where did Janus and Patton go?”

“They are most likely copulating in the tent.” That made Remus giggle a little before he turned back to Logan, looking deep into his eyes.

Then, out of the blue, he asked something that he had been thinking for a very long time.

“Can I kiss you?”

Logan flushed, choking on his own words. “I… well… you…”

“It’s okay if the answer is no,” Remus added quickly. 

“I… it’s not that… I just… I don’t know how.”

“In that case,” he whispered, cupping Logan’s face, “just let me take care of you.”


End file.
